Perishing at Perisher

With dubious trepidation                                       

I set off for some skiing

It was all my friends could do

To stop this lass from fleeing

Fear set in; I dig my heels in deep

Conjuring up excuses

Pretending to be asleep

I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna do it

What kind of boyfriend are you

To put this poor girl through it?

Pure as the driven snow, she is

(Although that’s quite a leap)

More like a lazy snowman

Melting in a sulky heap

But at least I got the fashion right

Decked out in DC and Superdry

With bobble beanie and pure wool scarf

Call me snow-bunny superfly

Of course I didn’t look so super

Floundering in minus degrees

With red face, snotty nose

And wet snow up to my knees

It’s all part of the fun

You seasoned skiers chime in

To you I say ‘To each their own’

Now refill my flagon with gin

Then maybe, just maybe

I’ll put snow boots on my feet

Venture out, sink and fall

Bang, bump, swear; repeat